Real Leaders Do Not Allow Bullying: Protecting Your People and Your Culture
I have been in leadership long enough to know that people can be unkind. They can be sharp. They can be reactive. They can be frustrated. All of that is part of being human. But there is a line that should never be crossed. Bullying. Targeting. Diminishing someone’s worth or accomplishments. That is not human. That is a choice. And it is a choice that no one has the right to make.
Recently I had a conversation with someone who does not work in an office setting. I mentioned a situation I was witnessing where a team was sending messages about one individual. The comments were hostile but not hostile enough to be called out immediately. They were the kind of comments that fly under the radar unless you are paying attention. My friend looked at me and said, how old are you all. There is no such thing as bullying. We are adults. I could not wrap my brain around that response. It showed me how invisible workplace bullying can be to people who have never seen it up close.
But I had seen it. I was watching it unfold. And I watched the impact it had on the person being targeted. She raised the flag to her leadership. She did the right thing. She asked for support. And the response she received was to shrink her accomplishments and try to stay off the radar. I saw red when I heard that. No leader should ever ask someone to dull their shine to make other people more comfortable. No leader should ever suggest that the solution to bullying is to become smaller.
Bullying in the workplace is real. It is subtle. It is corrosive. It is often disguised as personality conflict or team dynamics or harmless commentary. But it is none of those things. It is a culture problem. It is a leadership problem. And it is a problem that grows when leaders ignore it or minimize it.
I have written before about how drama exists when people have the capacity to create it. Bullying exists when the culture supports it. When leaders look away. When leaders stay silent. When leaders choose comfort over integrity. When leaders allow the loudest voices to set the tone.
Leadership requires something different. It requires courage. It requires professionalism. It requires the willingness to stand up and say, not here. Not in this team. Not in this organization. Leadership means protecting people from harm, not asking them to hide from it. Leadership means supporting the person who is being targeted, not the people doing the targeting. Leadership means doing the right thing even when it is uncomfortable.
If you are a leader, you set the tone. You decide what behavior is acceptable. You decide what culture you allow. You decide whether bullying has room to grow or whether it is stopped the moment it appears. You decide whether your people feel safe or whether they feel alone.
Be the leader who does not support bullying. Be the leader who supports your people. Be the leader who understands that professionalism is not silence. It is action. It is integrity. It is standing up when someone is being pushed down. And above all, be the leader who never asks someone to dull their shine. Ever.